When we look at the time we spend, it can always be related to money. We can use our time to do three things with money; save it, earn it, or spend it. If you are employed full time, you probably spend about a third of your time earning money. Many of us most enjoy the time we use to spend our money. After all, what are we earning it for if not to do this? What about the time spent to save money though? Do you spend enough time doing things that will save you money? Do you feel that it is a waste of time to do the money saving things when your time could be better spent earning extra income? There is only so much time and there is only so much money. During the time that you are not earning money or spending it, you might as well be doing something to save it. If not, you are just wasting both time and money.
Sitting on the Toilet
I wrote the opening paragraph to this post yesterday. My time ran short and I had to leave my computer to get ready for my day job. As I was sitting on the can, releasing a load of processed food into the toilet, I was pondering what I had just wrote. The time we spend can always be related to money. I wondered, how does the time I spend sitting on the toilet taking a dump relate to money?
I am certainly not earning money while sitting on the toilet if I am at home. I suppose if I take a dump while I am “on the clock,” at work, I am technically being paid by the hour to poop. In this case, it is better to take as long as possible. But then again, I am a trucker and some of the places I’ve had to do the deed are places I want to get out of as soon as possible! My conclusion is that taking a dump is probably not the best way to earn money.
Am I spending money while I sit on the porcelain canister? If I am at home, I could consider the cost for water used to fill the toilet and flush the excrement. The amount of toilet paper used could be a factor. Both of these are minimal though, and if the deed is done in public they are a non-factor. The biggest expense I can think of is that of time. How much time do I waste while sitting there? Could this time be better spent doing something to either earn or save money? My conclusion is that both time and money should be spent minimally when it comes to going #2. Get in and get out!
How does money savings relate to this daily activity? Much the same as the spending, time could be saved and better used to be doing something more productive or profitable. If you really want to get nit-picky, a tiny bit of money can be saved if you are careful about how much toilet paper you use. I concluded that my daily dumping routine is not a big saver of either money or time. It did lead me to think of something else though...
As I concluded my morning dump that day I started thinking about this, I came to another conclusion. The time I either spend or save while taking a dump hardly relates to money directly. But what about the waste that I had just deposited into the toilet, then ultimately into the sewage system. The waste is nothing more than what it is called, a waste! It comes out pretty much the same every single day. It is the same for just about everybody, regardless of how much time or money is earned, spent or saved.
Instead of thinking about the time that is wasted on the toilet, and how it relates to money, I decided to think about the waste itself. The poop. It doesn’t matter what you ate the day before, it all ends up coming out the same way. A $200 steak dinner at the fanciest steak house. A $50 lobster meal at a seafood joint. A $0.35 package of Ramen noodles. Or even a few slices of cold pizza you found in the breakroom at work for free. It doesn’t matter what you eat or how much it costs, it all comes out as waste.
How to Save Money While Taking a Dump
I’ve already concluded that not a lot of money can be saved directly while taking a crap. You may be able to guess where this is going, but don’t fret. I’m not going to suggest that everybody eat only Ramen noodles, beans, rice and free cold pizza in order to avoid the high cost of waste. Instead, I am going to suggest something psychological that could end up saving you money.
Every time you sit on the can to do the deed, try to remember and think about what you ate the day before. What food and drink did your body process and is now being dumped into whatever kind of sewage system your toilet is hooked up to. How much money did that food cost? In what ways could you have saved money by eating something else or somewhere else? Are you crapping out name brand grocery items? Wouldn’t the cheaper store brand stuff be coming out the same way?
If you think about this every time you use the bathroom to deposit a #2, your eating and shopping habits just might change a little. Next time you’re at a fast food joint, you may order off the value menu rather then ordering one of the high-priced meals. Here’s some advice; instead of dreamily staring at the pictures of delicious food on the menu, instead picture the toilet that the food is going to end up in. What is it going to look like then? It will all look the same. Do you want to pay dollar menu price for that poop or full price?
The same thing can be done at a fancier restaurant. Instead of gazing over all of the mouth-watering pictures of food, pretend that you are looking at a toilet catalog. All the pictures are toilets filled with waste, with different prices next to them. Looking at it this way, you just might choose the cheaper meal.
Try this technique at the grocery store as well. Imagine everything that you throw into your cart as what it will look like after your body has processed it. Thinking about your food this way just might trick your mind into buying the cheaper stuff.
This Food Looks Like Crap!
Everybody has heard this saying, and most have probably said it at some point in their lives. This statement is normally used to describe food that does not look desirable or delicious at all. In might even be taken as an insult to whoever prepared the food. Instead, I am proposing that you use this phrase as a money-saving trick. Even if the food looks good, exclaim this food looks like crap, then think about everything you just read and how it can lead you to saving money.
Before you get on your high horse and tell me how disgusting I am, just remember that everybody does it. Everybody poops. It’s not politically incorrect to talk about it. It’s really not that gross. It’s just a part of daily life. You poop. I poop. Supermodels poop. Oprah poops. Your pastor poops. Bums poop. Even Jesus pooped while he was here.
If you want to help your friends and family save money, go ahead and tell them how crappy their food is. If you need help explaining it to them, just forward this post to them. The more people who view their food as crap, the more people who will be saving money. You’re welcome!
Readers: This crappy toilet talk is what I came up with when I related how almost all time spent is somehow related to money. What do you come up with? Did this post change the way you will look at food? Did it completely disgust you?
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